Anime and Islam: how Uzbek Otaku Reconcile Faith and Fan Culture

My name is Zuhra, and online I am known as "Cyber Kakletka". I only started watching anime at thirteen — rather late compared to those around me, who had been devoted to it since childhood, particularly Naruto, which was at the height of its popularity back then. I came to it later, and at first I watched something light — school romance, slice-of-life.

My first anime was Kimi ni Todoke — known in English as Reaching You. A friend recommended it, and I fell in love with it immediately. It was romance, shōjo, school life — gentle, warm anime about adolescent feelings. It still lives in my heart. There is no toxicity, no aggression, no heavy themes — only tender, delicate emotions between schoolchildren. Everything is wonderfully vanilla, wonderfully soft, and I think that is precisely why it left such a lasting impression.

I think about that anime to this day and consider it the perfect first title for anyone discovering the genre. It had twelve episodes and two seasons, if I recall correctly. I did not fully understand everything at the time, and then things took a decidedly more intense turn: Tokyo Ghoul, Hunter x Hunter — serious titles. From that point on, I was completely immersed.

I watched an enormous amount, then began reading manga, manhwa, manhua — genres I know well. I even started learning Japanese, with ambitions to study in Japan. I studied for a full year, achieved JLPT N5, and recently renewed my certificate.

But the last four years of my life have been defined by esports. I played games from childhood, though for a long time everything revolved around anime. Then the focus shifted. Esports became not merely a passion but a means of asserting my place in a society that does not always welcome people like me. My brothers, for instance, told me that "games are not for girls" and tried to dissuade me from starting a blog or participating in the scene at all.

But it was precisely in defiance of those stereotypes that I entered esports. Today I am developing my career as a media blogger in this field, and I genuinely love what I do. Esports is a major part of my life — and for four years now, I have been truly, wholeheartedly in it.

There are anime whose content I am not particularly fond of. Take High School DxD, for instance. It was quite popular when it first came out. I was probably around 14 or 15 at the time — I read the synopsis and was rather put off by the sheer amount of erotic content and the like. I can filter all of that in my own mind, and it certainly has no bearing on my worldview, which is already well formed. I simply find it baffling and unpleasant to watch anime where the entire focus is on eroticism. And High School DxD was the first anime I encountered in that genre.

I am 24 now, yet even today I sometimes consciously skip certain anime — simply because I see no point in spending time on something I have nothing to take from. Perhaps every anime carries its own meaning, as I have said before. But if that meaning is drowned in 12 episodes of explicit content, then, weighing everything up, I would rather walk on by.

On the subject of religion and anime — my entire family is religious, yet no one has ever objected to my watching anime. The only thing they ever drew attention to was not going too far and not watching anything explicit. But on the whole, it has always been down to me. I believe what matters is how you engage with it, how well you are able to filter. You decide for yourself: this part of the anime I take on board, it interests me, whereas that part is not for me — it does not sit with my convictions.

It is rather like books. You would not forbid a child from reading non-fiction simply because they are still a child, would you? If they are curious, they will read, learn, and absorb. Every anime has its meaning. For me, it holds the same value as a book I have read.

Books, incidentally, have always been a great love of mine — I was an avid reader as a child. These days I have less time, of course, but there is still a pile at home that I return to whenever a spare moment presents itself.

As for geek culture and cosplay — it has always felt close to my heart. But when I put on the hijab, I felt I would have to say goodbye to cosplay. I simply cut it out of my life. Until one day I came across, on social media, girls known as malaika — Muslim women from Indonesia who cosplay in hijab, in their own interpretations of characters. It inspired me so deeply! I realised that I could do the same.

When I heard that a geek festival was to be held in Tashkent, I decided to try my hand at a character for the first time. It was Powder from Arcane, I believe… or perhaps it was a character from Chainsaw Man. That was the first time I attempted to combine hijab and cosplay, and I think it turned out brilliantly. I encountered not a trace of hatred — only a little incomprehension from the Russian-speaking community. But honestly, I have never particularly cared about other people's opinions. That is probably what has allowed me to become a blogger, to do cosplay, and to pursue what I genuinely love. I simply do my own thing and do not look sideways.

After that, I went a step further. I reached out to a make-up artist who, as it happens, is acquainted with my sister. And here is the most remarkable part — my sister supported me. She helped rather than judged; on the contrary, she was entirely understanding. That was both unexpected and deeply touching.

Then my mother found out about everything. She saw a video of my look and, naturally, her first reaction was: "Oh, how frightening it looks!" — but she immediately added that the character itself was very beautiful, and praised how everything had come together. She does not fully understand what cosplay is, but she was able to appreciate the effort and the aesthetic. And that meant a great deal to me.

How difficult is it to reconcile religion with a passion for anime and geek culture? To be honest, it wasn't easy at first. My parents didn't accept my interests. But as time passed and I grew older, things became calmer. Now I watch titles quite freely — over meals, on my way somewhere, before bed. It has become so much a part of my routine that I only recently realised I barely use YouTube at all. I don't have the habit of endlessly scrolling through Instagram or TikTok. I simply open an anime site in the background. It has become part of my everyday life, almost without my noticing.

Even now, my mother occasionally says, "Why are you watching those cartoons?" — and each time I explain that it isn't simply cartoons. Yes, the characters are drawn, but the meaning within them is something a child wouldn't grasp. Anime can be profound, moving, serious — about feelings, about choices, about life itself.

When I hear the phrase "anime is haram", I don't even raise an eyebrow anymore. Beneath every post of mine — particularly those featuring cosplay — someone will invariably write: "Oh God, that's haram!" I used to encounter such comments rather frequently, especially when I shared my passion openly. These days, most of my audience doesn't even know I still watch anime. Occasionally someone will ask, almost by accident: "Wait, do you actually watch anime?".

Recently I had a conversation with my brother on the subject. He said that — in his view — anime can subtly "reformat" one's thinking, especially if one watches a great deal of it. That it quietly shapes perception, draws you in, and can imperceptibly shift one's priorities — including in matters of faith. I partly agree with him. Yes, if you immerse yourself in any content without restraint, it begins to exert an influence. But I consider myself, at this point, a sufficiently mature and self-aware person. I have clear convictions, an understanding of my faith and my boundaries — and none of that simply "switches off" within me. I filter everything and keep things separate: here is my faith, here is my hobby — the two do not intersect.

I continue to observe my boundaries and do not venture into territory where any of this might interfere with my religiosity. And I think there is nothing troubling in that. I am still young, and perhaps one day I shall arrive at the conclusion that it is better to give such things up entirely. But for now, I see no threat in it. Anime is, at its heart, about creativity. It offers the possibility of self-expression. In almost every anime there is an important idea: you must not be afraid to be yourself. Do not be afraid to show yourself, do not be afraid to reveal to the world who you are.

I think this is especially significant for those who frequently hold themselves back — whether young women in hijab or simply people who were taught from childhood to "keep their heads down". Anime seems to say: you can live fully, be vivid and expressive, remain within the bounds of your own values — and still be happy, loved, and authentic. And in that, as far as I can see, there is nothing that could rightly be called "haram".

A great many people still assume that Muslims are invariably stern, rough, excessively reserved individuals. But that is simply not the case. Islam, on the contrary, promotes optimism, kindness, and ease in one's dealings with others. It is a religion of humanity. A true Muslim ought to be kind, compassionate, open, and ready to help others — regardless of their faith or background.

I believe we must first be human beings, and only then representatives of one faith or another. And that, I suppose, is precisely what I endeavour to convey through my blog: Muslims are not "stone walls", not people closed in upon themselves with rigid restrictions. We are alive, open, and kind — and that is precisely how we ought to present ourselves to the world.